In my previous posts in this series on “Accessing Inner Wisdom as a Means to Conscious Transformation” I have explored the various archetypes that are at play in the coaching relationship. It is the relationship between the ego and the Self that is particularly relevant for the Integrative Coaching client.
For most clients who are guided to access inner wisdom, it is their first “formal” introduction to a wisdom that exists beyond their own everyday ego consciousness. Clients seem to accept unquestioningly this concept of inner wisdom; that it is possible to receive answers they seek from a deeper place within them. Many clients are surprised and sometimes awed by the wisdom that comes from this mysterious place, which I am referring to as Self. Thus, the ego, this intrinsic and essential part of us, is gently introduced to the Self, this part of us that directs the functioning of the whole psyche.
But because the process occurs progressively over sixteen weeks, each week building on the work of the previous week; because of the intellectual logic of the material presented; because of information received and structures put in place around areas such as self-responsibility and mental attentiveness; because of the depth of the relationship that is established between coach and client, the ego is not overwhelmed or made to feel redundant!
This does not mean that the ego will gently acquiesce to the guidance of the Self. In contrast, all clients it seems, observe and experience, to some degree, the “acting out” nature of the ego; its tendency to anxiety and detailed analysis of every situation, and its ability to sabotage thoughts, feelings and actions when it experiences that old and comfortable ways of being and doing are about to change.
Certainly, when the ego senses that its degree of control over an individual may be threatened, it may even experience a period of panic. It is at these times that the ego, as Hollis so delightfully describes, “becomes a nervous Nelly running about the parlour of life, picking up the clutter, dusting everywhere, making it even more uncomfortable to visit.”(1996, p.12)
I recall a client I coached who described to me how over the course of a particular week she had observed and experienced a situation similar to that described by Hollis. At the end of the inner wisdom exercises in our sessions she felt clear, calm and excited about what she wanted to achieve and indeed, knew she was capable of achieving, in her career. But as the days passed between the coaching sessions her ego mind began to sow seeds of doubt within her as it ran a merry dance of negative and self-deprecating chatter.
It is clear to me that my client was experiencing what I have also experienced and have come to understand as the smallness and neurosis of the threatened ego. This is the “Nervous Nellie” which, if allowed to roam unchecked, becomes a powerful barrier that prevents individuals from moving into their human potential. As my clients move through the Integrative Coaching process, they become acutely aware of the contrast between the comforting, guiding intelligence of inner wisdom (Self) and the anxiety and discomfort of the challenged ego-self when it is allowed to dominate the conscious mind.
References
Hollis, James, Swamplands of the Soul (Toronto. Inner City Books, 1996)
